Facing the Giant

trig·o·nom·e·try: noun \ˌtri-gə-ˈnä-mə-trē\

*New Latin trigonometria, from Greek trigōnon + -metria -metry

*First Known Use: 1614

*the study of the properties of triangles and trigonometricfunctions and of their applications

Yes, I admit it. I am among those who needs divine intervention when it comes to solving triangles. And yet I needed to face this GIANT!

And so I sought the Lord’s words, help, favor, mercy, wisdom…lahat na! At salamat eto ang mga binigay Niya…

*1 John 2:5 & Jeremiah 29:11 – 2 Reasons to Obey

Obedience with two things in mind. That is obeying as a response from His love and obeying because God wants us to expect.

Hmm… and so I obeyed… Let go… and waited… And yet nothing happened! It’s as if there’s no moving from the Lord. Then He gave me this…

*Colossians 1 Doing what pleases Him

Doing what is God’s will. What is God’s will? It is something that gives Him pleasure. In short do what gives Him pleasure! Pailot-ikot haha! Pero mas naintindihan ko in its simplest sense, without any theological churvalu and God’s will 🙂

At syempre… sunod parin… continuously seeking His will and doing it.. paunti-unti.. By His grace… and I waited… Exams, quizzes, homeworks… Nothing’s happening… still struggling.. kahit konting ray of light.. WALA!

Balik ulit kay Lord… At eto naman ang sagot Niya…

*John 11 – When God doesn’t make sense

When things doesn’t go with us, God is accomplishing something which will bring Him greater glory!

Good Lord! Ang hirap pala talaga! Lalo na kung medyo ikaw yung tipo ng tao na “to see is to believe”! Tapos samahan mo pa na Living by Faith and not by Sight dapat :)) Nakakatawa ngayong binabalikan ko na.. pero sobrang ilang timba siguro ng luha ang naubos ko ng mga panahong to…

But of course… tuloy ang pagpasok sa klase… tuloy padin ang living by faith… It’s really an everyday battle… everyday in need of God’s word and strength that comes from Him… So He gave me this…

*John 4 – Will you still believe?

God asked me, Will I still believe even if there are no miracles that come my way?

Okay.. kinabahan ako… pero tinama Niya ang perspective ko… and what else… Oh yes.. this is the time na mas nakikita ko na yung impossibility ng mga bagay-bagay.. So I wen’t back to the Lord..

Ah oo… ito na yung time na ang devotion patungkol na kay Abraham at Sarah having their child. Isaac and Rebekah as well. In short, He was telling me that He is a GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!

Okay… to those reading, yung iba siguro napapangiti.. Ang galing sumagot ni Lord no? 😀 Sa iba naman, di makarelate. Baka nga creepy pa at that. But hey! Testimony ko to! Walang pakielamanan!

Kilalanin Niyo rin si Lord para may ganto kayo! :))

Okay… mabalik tayo…asan na nga ba…

Ayun! so because of those impossibles, He made me meditate this…

*Romans 4:13-21 – The promises of God depends on a faith!

Obedience is good, but faith should be BIGGER!

Okay…na-check ako dito… Akala ko pag sumunod okay na… Dapat pala may faith na kasama! HAHAHAHA! (paki batukan ako please!)

I was reminded by God. Everything is by faith 🙂 so I continued my classes… as He made me meditate and memorize by heart ang definition ng faith according to Hebrews 11:1 at ang 2 Corinthians 10:5 para talagang may pangontra sa deceptions ng kaaway…

Days…weeks… and I found myself again in need of God’s word to strengthen me… dito mo marerealize na kailangan mo talaga Siya EVERYDAY.. as in EVERYDAY! And then one day this was His word…

*Genesis 32-33 – Wrestling

Not letting go until God blesses me.

RRRRAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR!!! Wrestling daw oh! Spiritually nga lang.. pero mas mahirap pala… lalo na pag emotional kang tao…

Dito ko natanong yung isang mentor ko… “Kelan mo ba bibitawan ang isang bagay na hinihiling mo kay God?” Ang sabi lang niya sakin…

“You must first know God. Do you think He’s the kind of Father who would give you that blessing? If yes, check your motives…” at…

“If your answer is yes padin, then the answer is NEVER. Don’t give up until, He blesses you.”

(ehem… yan po talaga sinabi niya, straight from my cellphone… you know who you are :)))) )

so…. I prayed to God to check my motives… malinis naman… I think… hahah! but then still because babae ako… open parin yung window na to… still the classes continues…

Then one day… He gave me this word…

*Exodus 5-6 – The Word of Promise

Now you will see what I will do to Pharoah. When he feels the force of my strong hand, he will let my people go…

I will cause a distinction between you my children and the other nation… (rephrased)

sabi nga ng mga fans ni boy pick-up…. BOOM!

Did I heard it right? God will do something to Pharoah… Coincidence lang ba o yun nga talaga?

Saktong-sakto sa sitwasyon ko! And so… I took this by heart… Clinging on it… as in cling…

Kaso… talagang malabo… malabo ng pumasa…

Ang hirap kaya na ikaw pa yung magsusulat ng pangalan mo sa form kung saan isusulat ng prof mong FAILED… in red ink pa!!!

Para kong sinusulat yung pangalan ko sa lapida… ewww creeeppppyy :)) ah basta! masakit na mahirap na mabigat! ayun basta…hirap explain eh… kayo kaya! JOKE!

And then… sabi ko… Lord ano bang gusto Mong mangyari.. ano po bang gusto Ninyong matutunan ko… What’s next Lord… What’s next.. Paulit-ulit kong tinatanong sa Kanya…

Habang naglalakad papunta sa PNR station… tapos tuloy-tuloy pang pagmumuni-munihan yung mabigat na katotohanang hindi ko man lang mabe-bless ang mga magulang ko dahil hindi ako magmamarch this March 25!

Panay buntong hininga… as in… hinugot na lahat ng pwedeng hugutin sa sobrang lalim ng bugtong hininga… Isama mo pa yung pag-iyak ng ilang beses habang naglalakad papalabas ng UST at sa harap ng bagong tayong Quadri Gym kung san kami ga-graduate…

Natutulala ako pag-naaalala ko… Siguro yung mga nakakakita sakin iniisip iniwan ako ng boyfriend ko… hahaha! pag umiiyak habang naglalakad ng mag-isa iniwan na agad ng boyfriend?? di ba pwedeng nalulungkot lang para sa mga magulang!!!??? at nalulungkot dahil mawawala yung simpleng pangarap ko na mag supt ng black toga…

Nagdaan ang mga araw… and I was already meditating Jesus Culture’s song “I surrender all” … Nun ko nasabi, yes Lord, even my simplest desire I lay down at your feet… Knowing na God’s desire for me is far greater than what I have imagined… So pasuko na ko…

Until one day… He gave me this… recently lang actually…

*Deuteronomy 32 – Presence or Present

Which is more significant and important… the Giver or the Gift?

Of course… somehow my heart sank… hindi ako magsisinungaling na hindi ako nalungkot… syempre naiisip kong hala… wala na talaga… yet God told me, in this journey it is the Knowledge of Him that is far more important than anything…

And so I looked back and saw that really God was with me all along.. Even as I type these letters, I knew God was with me all the time!

But then… habang wala pa ang final list of graduates… there is this still small hope that springs up… lalo na nung lahat ng devotion mo eh sinasabing faith and believe… tapos pati yung binibilhan mo ng paborito mong inumin sa Dapitan eh may nakalagay na verse “Everything is possible for him who believes” 

pero pano ko gagawin yung believe… Then one fateful night… habang nasa jeep, God reminded me of rejoicing… Praising…

Sabi ko Lord, ang hirap… Sa mga panahong sobrang down ka at sobrang wala ka ng pag-asa kakanta ka ng “Again I say, Rejoice” ni Israel…

But the message was confirmed. Whe I got home, nag-usap kami ni mama and this was the same word she got and I got from His word…

*Psalm 51:15-17 – Sacrifice of Praise

God is blessed when His people praise Him even in times of trouble and uncertainty. That the sacrifices God is looking for is from people who are broken and in need.

When we praise God during difficult times, it just goes to show how much we put or faith and trust in Him.

So I did… I asked the Lord to unseal my lips and grant me a rejoicing heart… The following day, I stood in the stage, sang praises to Him! And it reinforced me to know that the praises of His people are among the instruments that God uses in the salvation of other people…

And as I wait for the final verdict ng College of Science… this was God’s word…

*Judges 14 – He is at work

There are times when we actually don’t see God at work… But He really is!

Nothing more to say but still wait… Pero patuloy parin ang build up ng questions…

“Lord, what about Your word? Moses and the Pharoah? What about it Lord? What is believing?”

Of course… Questionning God wasn’t right… But it’s better to be transparent to Him… That is what God wants from me…

Until yesterday (sa booksale sa Festival Supermall) and this very fateful fay (kaninang umaga) He said…

*Isaiah 55 – His word will not be in vain

Salvation is near…

True enough… this day came God’s deliverance. HIs word really didn’t come back to Him in vain!

Now, I have more reasons to keep my faith in Him and to continue my walk with Him…

Salamat sa Diyos sa lahat ng mga taong ginamit Niya to encourage me, make straight my perspectives, and who supported me through their prayers.

I ask now the Lord’s blessing as I continue to walk living by faith in Him and for Him… Giving glory to Him in every area of my life… And as I enter a new stage of employment! Wuhooo!!!

Thank you Lord for my parents who became your instrument in blessing me throughout my college years.. And even WIN-Alabang for supporting me… God please bless them back a hundred fold!

Even my CKSM family who became God’s instrument for me to enter college in the first place! To my teachers, and to Ms. Glenda and Sir Dave! Kudos! Salamat po! I Pray that God will bless you back too, a hundred fold!

It is not I but the Lord who worked out my 5 years in college. By Him and for Him. For my weakness is made perfect in His strength. All glory to You God!

And oh yes! It’s all about You!

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Desires

At some point in our lives we end up caught in the middle of two directions. Either we pursue a desire or leave it behind. But what does it really take to pursue or leave that desire? Where does it come from in the first place?

 

 I remember one “desire” in my heart that was caught by a question from whom I believe God sent to reveal to me this sweet thing. From then on, that desire was challenged. “Is it what God really wants us to do?”

 

 Then my friend and I started to take on a journey of truly seeking God’s will with that “desire” and I believe we both ended up with what God wanted to teach us in the first place.

However, I could only write what God revealed to me personally… so bear with it. Haha

God’s answer started with King David’s desire to build up a temple for God.

1 Chronicles 28: 12

            He gave him the plans of all that the Spirit had put in his mind for the courts of the temple of the Lord…

David’s desire to build a temple for the Lord was given by the spirit of God. It didn’t come from him but Someone had put that desire in his mind. Furthermore his desire was followed by a motive in his heart. And that motive can be found in 1 Chronicles 22:5

             David said, “… the house to be built for the Lord should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. Therefore I will make preparations for it…”

His motive was for the people who have their “own gods” see who’s the REAL GOD!

During their time, winning a war against a nation had a higher purpose. And that is to show whose god is stronger and greater. If a nation won a war that means their god is above their enemy’s god. (1 Samuel 4-5)

In short, David had in his heart to lift up God to be glorified and be made known to all the nations as the God among all the gods.

I was enlightened to know this. That my “desire” could be from God and therefore I should pursue it!

“But wait. There’s more!” God said to me.

He then led me backtracking a little bit into King David’s life. In 1 Chronicles 21 when David numbered his fighting men.

Verse 1

            Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel

To incite means to arouse in action. We all know that our actions come first into what our minds tell us to do. (Or at least most of the time… para sa mga impulsive…haha)

Therefore, there was another desire or thought brought into David’s mind. And it was not from God. It was from Satan himself which caused David to choose between three punishments given by God. But why was David given punishment?

God was not pleased with what David did as cited in verse 7. Why? That is because of the hidden motive in David’s heart. Numbering or counting the fighting men and the Israelites implies that David was forgetting that it was because of God that he won battles and acquire his army along with God’s covenant with him as being the anointed king of the Israelites.

It was David’s boasting of his own great power of conquering battles and nations and not God’s!

In short, it was a wrong motive for David. It was to glorify himself!

Good thing, God’s covenant with David and God’s grace is greater than what David did that he was given a chance to choose!

When this was revealed to me, I fell prostrate before God. I was left checking my heart’s motive. Was that “desire” for God’s glory or for myself?

Thank God there’s such a thing as repentance. I repented from any wrong motive of pursuing that “desire” and I praise God for forgiving me.

At this moment, by God’s grace I am left with a changed heart, with purer motives in pursuing my “desire.” J

Now, I know that our desires can come either from God or from the enemy himself. God allows the enemy to do his thing in us to teach us great things. Sana nga lang matutunan natin yun diba?

And how will we know whether that desire is from God or from Satan?Image

It’s where our heart’s motive lies. If it’s to glorify God, it’s from God. If it’s otherwise… alam na…

Maybe, that is why David was so careful charging his son Solomon.

1 Chronicles 28:9

            “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mid, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts…”

As well as having this prayer in his heart…

 Psalm 139:23-24

            “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in m, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

 

It is God who knows our hearts more than ourselves and it is only appropriate for us to always be in the attitude of checking our reasons for our actions.